Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
