You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
