someone owes me an orgasm
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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