i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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