He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize