Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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