C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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