Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
