problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
