yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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