A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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