I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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