i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
