I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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