i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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