I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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