only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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