If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
