I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
