I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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