C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
