i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
