for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
