after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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