It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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