he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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