Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize