The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
