dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
