Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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