I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am mentally ready for anal.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
