I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
