weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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