if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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