oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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