I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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