She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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