I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
