During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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