I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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