I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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