Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
