can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
