the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
