we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize