He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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