if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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