I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
