I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
