u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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