You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
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The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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