just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
