He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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