quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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