You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
