so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
