Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
