Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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