you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize