I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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