I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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