the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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