i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
is it fun? or sober?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
