He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
