I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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