All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize