i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish I could teleport
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
